Resilience in the face of profound struggle: Fertility Support Community and A Night of Hope

Words by Jumana

The night of 2 November 2022 at Meerumaa Lounge saw a gathering of black, white and gold under a shimmering slogan: “A Night of Hope”. Every visitor at the fundraising gala met with smiles of excitement and gentleness: of bravery and resilience. The night is a testament to the impact made by shared experiences and unity in the face of profound struggle and battles.

What started as what Asha noted as a “coping mechanism” went on to become an online community of women helping women (the best kind), around December of 2019. Fast forward to today and it is now the stronghold that commemorated the first ever World Fertility Day in Maldives, helped launch an IVF fund and facilitated the very generous donation of IVF package for two couples at India’s Yaami Fertility Clinic by Dr Sankalp Singh who is now familiar face for those that have attended his information sessions. Following the success of this beautiful event that was the talk of many families, Kaleo had a chat with the President and Founder of the Fertility Support Community, Fathmath Arisha Hussain (Asha).

The Night of Hope event brought tears (both sad and happy) to many who attended, as stories of struggles were told with candor and commendable vulnerability in a society where people still intrusively and destructively ask women “When are you going to have kids?”. To live some of your worst fears every day of your life is daunting enough: to bravely share it is another story all together. The Executive Secretary of FSC Faiha Faheem shared, “…so I had my first surgery when I was 14 and I had my ovary removed. Since then, all the doctors that I consult, all of them would say, you should get married soon. It’s not something that a 15 or 16 year old would want to hear…”. 

The cost of IVF goes beyond the financial burden that rains down upon a couple who have to call a foreign land home during one of the biggest undertakings of their lives. Asha explained that in addition to watching what you eat, you have to manage anxiety levels and intrusive negative thoughts during an embryo transfer; that too in a foreign country. These are just scratching the surface of what a couple, especially the woman goes through while taking a chance on life or death based solely on hope. The hope of holding your baby in your arms one day. She noted the importance of fertility counseling and highlighted, “…it doesn’t end with a successful pregnancy. The anxiety you have – even within the first three months and on to postpartum, including the stress on the spouse, need to be addressed. That is why these support sessions are so important”.

In a society where talk of infertility is very gendered and concentrated on women, it isn’t typically addressed that infertility can also occur for men. FSC’s most recent information session centered around male infertility factors such as motility and morphology. Several islands throughout Maldives can now also look forward to seeing FSC conduct vital sessions on their hometowns. “We held specific sessions with SHE previously on common causes of infertility and PCOS where I went and spoke on behalf of FSC… our target is not only newly married couples, but parents of young girls, because early diagnosis is so important in preventing long term infertility”.

Information sessions typically involve giving out absolutely invaluable information by women who have gone through the process themselves. From tips such as the best way to administer the injections, to how to make the best of all the little hidden costs of treatment such as nurse charges and the difference between fresh and frozen embryo transfer, the sessions go into detail about how to cope with the challenges that come with this journey.

The work that is being done by the Fertility Support Community is no small feat. It is giving hope for any woman or man that has mourned profound loss and grave disappointments, only to rise up and try again. These struggles need to be supported, and the wins celebrated and talked about; for what it brings forth is reflected in the priceless smiles of family.

Video courtesy of the Fertility Support Community