The emergence of the digital age has shifted our behaviour so much that we seem to have ignored one of humanity’s most honourable traits – patience
Patience is a virtue – has been mentioned in the Quran over 90 times.
Patience is defined as the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
Patience is slowing down your life, which means to take a step back from a situation, and
pausing for some time.
Patience is finding out what is important and then deciding on the next move.
Patience involves finding patience in different areas of life: with other people, with exercise and fitness, in the workplace and career, in communication with others, on the road, and with money.
Patience is a form of wisdom.
Why do we seem so impatient in our daily lives today?
Life is in the fast lane today; similar to an express train or the Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, which is the fastest jet on the planet. We want everything to be quick, speedy, and immediate and we want it NOW. We want the whole world to stop for us and we want its immediate attention.
We are a pampered species today. We are so used to doing things in a snap. We can travel to places faster than we ever did, we construct buildings faster, we marry, we divorce and we marry again, we have takeaway, pickup, delivery, we choose whatever we like and get it delivered on our doorsteps. All our needs and wants are easily available without even having to go out of our homes sometimes. Due to these easily accessible services, our expectations for the pace of things have changed tremendously and if anything falls out of place, we act with impatience.
Some people are more impatient than other people are and different people show impatience in certain situations. There are many reasons why people lose their patience. It is very important to know the reasons why we feel impatient in order to understand how we can be more conscious about it to help ourselves practice more patience:
Anger: some of us get angry very quickly
Short attention span:
Waiting in queues or just waiting for a service
Too many tasks to do
Wanting immediate results
Wanting to possess something immediately
Wanting to lose weight immediately – changed this
Being sick and unwell
Being angry with your child’s grades or performance
Another important attitude is to practise patience with others. Cultivating patience with others is a completely different challenge. Others may be acting, thinking and feeling in ways that may not be similar to you. In such instances, we need to be less reactionary. When others let us down or annoy us , we need to practise patience with them. We need to understand that they are also going through their life process and we need to be gentle with each other. We need to remember that problems we may encounter with people are temporary. Although differences may disturb us now they may disappear. So we need to try to have positive emotions. We need to be aware of our own emotions so we can disregard the negative feelings that come through. We have the power to let go of our negative emotions and find our inner peace within ourselves. Look around us. We live with our family, extended family, and/or friends. Most of us live in very tiny homes. We hardly have space for ourselves. We have our own frustrations and stress. We have to live through so much pressure; life, home, work, family, children and so much more.
We may get angry with our children for their carelessness, our helper for their lateness, our colleague for their slowness – do we ever think how they would feel when we lay out all our anger on them?
How can we overcome impatience?
We need to change our attitudes. It is not easy to practise patience. It would be good to start with oneself – by practising patience with oneself – with our own thoughts and feelings. We need to ask ourselves – what would this mean to us? What are the benefits I would gain by being patient with myself and what can I do to be more patient with myself?
We have a lot of control in the space between stimulus and response. Patience is exhibited within the space and there is wisdom and strength there. Within these seconds or minutes, the decisions we make, makes or breaks relationships – this is when we have the power to choose a response.
Paying attention to oneself, to one’s emotions and exploring where you feel the stress is of utmost importance in this journey. And being kind to oneself is key. So we need to be patient with beautiful patience (Quran 70:5).
Maryam Mariya
I originate from the Maldives islands and have a passion for languages. At school, I discovered my interest in English. After graduating from high school I studied Applied Linguistics and have been doing so till today. At present, I work at the University of Waikato as a Learning Development tutor. I also collaborate with a number of overseas universities to research Applied Linguistics.
In my spare time, I enjoy writing prose and poetry and I am instantly transported back to different times in my life – I can sense it, feel it and visualise the exact moments. I also have an interest in art and gardening. These activities have taught me to be more patient, but more importantly, taught me to be more patient with myself.
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